She Comes First

She Comes First

The Thinking Man's Guide to Pleasuring a Woman

7.742 评价豆瓣读书


As women everywhere will attest, when it comes to understanding female sexuality, most guys know more about what's under the hood of a car than under the hood of a clitoris. And while it seems that men have struggled valiantly since the dawn of time to find ways to reliably elicit the female orgasm, rare is the guy who has the modesty to ask: "What do I do?" Ironically, the answer has always been right there on the tip of his tongue. Welcome to the world of She Comes First, where the mystery of female satisfaction is solved and the tongue is proven mightier than the sword. According to Ian Kerner, clinical sexologist and evangelist of the female orgasm, oral sex has long been deemed an optional aspect of foreplay, but, in fact, it's coreplay -- simply the best way for leading a woman through the entire process of sexual response. Fun, informative, and easy to read, She Comes First is a virtual encyclopedia of female pleasure, detailing dozens of tried-and-true techniques for consistently satisfying a woman and illustrated step-by-step instructions to ensure success. These simple methods represent a new era in sexual intimacy, one in which the exchange of pleasure occurs on a level playing field and fulfillment is mutual. She Comes First exuberantly offers a fresh new sexual philosophy that inspires every man to make a mantra of Rhett Butler's infamous line to Scarlett O'Hara, "You should be kissed, and often, and by someone who knows how."

Ian Kerner, Ph.D., received his doctorate in Clinical Sexology from the American Academy of Clinical Sexologists, where he is currently on faculty. A Phi Beta Kappa graduate of Brandeis University, Ian was born and raised in New York City and lives there with his wife and son.


  1. Introduction: Confessions of aPremature Ejaculator
  2. How to Read this Book
  3. Pop Quiz
  4. A Taste of What’s to Come
  5. Attention Men
  6. Why I Wrote this Book
  7. Part One The Elements of Sexual Style
  8. 1 She Comes First: The Courtesy That Counts
  9. 2 Her Clitoris: The Little EngineThat Could
  10. 3 Think Outside Her Box
  11. 4 The Female Orgasm: Keepit Simple
  12. 5 The Tongue Is Mightier Than the Sword
  13. 6 Her Inner Goddess
  14. 7 Avoid Freud
  15. 8 What’s in a Name?
  16. 9 Now You See It:Female Sexual Anatomy Part 1
  17. 10 Now You Don’t:Female Sexual Anatomy Part 2
  18. 11 Avoid “G-Spotty” Logic
  19. 12 When Raindrops Keep Fallingon Your Head: Female Ejaculation
  20. 13 How Wet Is Wet?
  21. 14 Aristotle and the Poetics of Arousal
  22. 15 A Synopsis of FemaleSexual Response
  23. Act I—Foreplay: The Call to Action
  24. Act II—Coreplay: Tension and Release
  25. Act III—Moreplay: The Return to Balance
  26. 16 Scent and Sensibility
  27. 17 We’ve Come a Long Way…
  28. 18…But Proceed withCaution
  29. 19 Eat Right
  30. 20 The Cunnilinguist Manifesto
  31. Part Two Rules of Usage
  32. 21 A Note on the Play Process
  33. 22 Foreplay: A Lexicon ofRelevant Terms
  34. 23 Introducing Coreplay
  35. 24 Form Follows Function:Getting into Position
  36. First, the Wrong Way
  37. Now the Right Way
  38. Taken Together
  39. Head Position
  40. Let’s Review
  41. 25 A Quick Refresher of the Top TenHot Spots in the Clitoral Network
  42. 26 Grand Openings:The First Kiss
  43. The Approach
  44. The Moment Before
  45. The Kiss
  46. Before You Go, You Should Know
  47. Let’s Review
  48. 27 Establishing Rhythm
  49. A Make and Break Moment
  50. Build a Solid Foundation
  51. Be Alluring
  52. Smother Her in Love
  53. Play the Numbers
  54. Let’s Review
  55. 28 Developing Tension, Part 1
  56. The Importance of Teamwork
  57. Deft Fingers
  58. A Teasing Thumb
  59. Sturdy Hands
  60. Let’s Review
  61. 29“Time Flies”
  62. 30 Developing Tension, Part 2
  63. Tongue Strokes
  64. Let’s Review
  65. 31 Escalating the Action,Part 1
  66. Spot Removal
  67. Come-Hither
  68. Let’s Review
  69. 32 Two’s Company
  70. The Come-Hither Clasp
  71. Let’s Review
  72. 33 An Interlude
  73. Time-out
  74. The Perfect Pairing
  75. Let’s Review
  76. 34 Escalating the Action,Part 2
  77. Under Pressure: The Clitoris
  78. Bottom-up
  79. Putting All the Players to Work
  80. Let’s Review
  81. 35 A Stitch in Time
  82. 36 Preorgasm, Part 1
  83. The Visible Signs of Arousal
  84. Ninety Seconds Away
  85. Let’s Review
  86. 37 Preorgasm: Part 2
  87. Stay in Position
  88. Let’s Review
  89. 38 Posterior Pizzazz
  90. Let’s Review
  91. 39 Preorgasm, Part 3
  92. Cool, Calm Tongue Strokes
  93. Let’s Review
  94. 40 A Note for Those StuckWithout an Ending
  95. 41 The Female Orgasm:Expanding Your Vocabulary
  96. 42 Moreplay: She ComesAgain (and Again)
  97. 43 Seamless Transitions
  98. Woman on Top
  99. The Coital Alignment Technique (CAT)
  100. 44 Achieving Simultaneity
  101. 45 Don’t Forget Your Epilogue
  102. Part Three Putting It All Together
  103. 46 The Substance of Style
  104. 47 Routines: A Cheat Sheet
  105. 48 Routines: Beginner to Advanced
  106. Advanced Routines
  107. Conclusion
  108. Appendices
  109. Bibliography
  110. Acknowledgments
  111. About the Author
  112. Credits
  113. Copyright
  114. About the Publisher